So much is on my mind. Do I have to give the money back to my fans in England? They paid to see Michael Jackson, but instead they will get Zombie Michael Jackson.
I mean, I love my fans. But they paid for something else and I’m giving them a different product. I don’t know if they have a Consumer Product Safety Commission in the UK, but I’d basically be lying to people. I might get in trouble!
What would that mean for Blanket’s college fund? I don’t know…
Looks like LaToya and Jermaine are going to be getting more of my stuff than I had specified in my will (WHICH WAS ZERO!!!!!). This is NOT the news I needed to hear right now, especially after one of my toes fell off while I was moonwalking into the bathroom at my lawyer’s office.
Sigh. This is going to be a rough day. I can just feel it.
One thing that’s so surprising is the amount of paperwork one has to do after becoming the undead.
I mean, really? A new social security #? I have to get a new driver’s license photo? Ack. This is just getting annoying. Who the heck knew Obama had added a czar for the undead? I mean, there’s a whole federal AGENCY dedicated to this stuff.
So I’ll be back in 3-4 hours while I go through this stuff. While you’re waiting, add me on Twitter @JacksonBrowning
“Between approximately 2:40 p.m. PDT and 3:15 p.m. PDT today, some Google News users experienced difficulty accessing search results for queries related to Michael Jackson,” a Google spokesman told CNET, which also reported that Google News users complained that the service was inaccessible for a time. At its peak, Google Trends rated the Jackson story as “volcanic.”
That’s an appropriate word. BECAUSE MY COMEBACK AS ZOMBIE JACKSON WILL BE AKIN TO AN EXPLOSION.
Also, people have been asking me if you’re allowed to take off work because of my death. The answer is two fold: Yes, but you have to go buy a copy of HIStory and stay away from LaToya and Jermaine.
The funny thing about being undead is the people you run into. Remember Ronald Reagan? No, not the movie star, silly gooses. I mean the PRESIDENT Ronald Reagan.
Well, you might remember when back in the day I was so awesome he had me over for brunch. The Internets found a videotube of it!
Oh, the memories.
Well, Ronnie’s back. Apparently if you die with Alsheimer’s you come back as a zombie with it. So, Zombie Reagan’s kind of what you would expect as a zombie, only he keeps on offering you jelly beans that are actually rotting pieces of his flesh.
You guys need to start downloading more copies of “Forever, Michael” and “HIStory” and “Invincible.” Also, feel free to start buying tons of copies of the Free Willy soundtrack.
